


Sun & Moon

by showingoffourteeth



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 13:19:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17387108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showingoffourteeth/pseuds/showingoffourteeth
Summary: “I haven’t slept since I saw you at the party.” Mark rushes out, as if he was mortified to be on Donghyuck’s doorstep at 3AM.Mark fidgets slightly, but entirely noticeable in the quiet of the early morning. Donghyuck rolls his eyes at his awkwardness, a little bit hurt he’s acting so unfamiliar with his best friend.“I’m sorry I even came. I didn’t know what else to do, where else to go. I know you haven’t given me yet... And I’m not saying you have to! But...” Mark stutters out, all fidgety and pathetic.“Shut up,” Donghyuck grabs his wrist and pulls him inside despite Jaemin’s screaming in his head not to.orWhat happens when Mark does something Donghyuck is utterly crushed by? And what happens when it hurts both of them more than ever intended?





	1. i can see you even when i shut my eyes

**Author's Note:**

> the ~ marks signal a flashback ALSO I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT I WORKED HARD 💖💖

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy my first nct fic i worked hard !!! 💕

It was my first day of sophomore year and a bunch of questions flooded my mind. Not ones that were full of wonder as I thought of the school year and how it would go. I didn’t wonder about where my classes were. And I definitely wasn’t thinking about meeting up with my friends. Instead, I squatted sneakily behind a tree and spied on the group of students on the other side of it.    


Was this wrong? ...Yeah. Was this creepy? In most people’s opinion. Was there an incredibly high chance I could get caught? Don’t remind me. Was I gonna do it anyway? Of fucking course.   


Lee Minhyung stood in the middle of this said group. He’s wearing a sleeveless tank top and has his hair pushed back. I didn’t want to admit it, but it was a little bit hot. He had grown up a lot since the last time I saw him, which was only a few months ago before his trip to Canada for the summer. When he was leaving we had a fight, so I didn’t bother speaking to him while he was gone since he’s the one that has to apologize to me. He’s the one that was being mean for no damn reason. 

 

_ “Hyung,” I whined, settling against his back with my chin hooked over his shoulder and arms wrapped around his waist. I look down as he places a folded stack of clothes into his suitcase. “Can you please stay? You can stay at my house for the whole summer. Please!” _

 

_ “Don’t yell in my ear,” He nudges me off his back while rubbing his ear. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I want to go. I feel like I haven’t been back to Canada since I moved here. I miss my family, Hyuck-ah.” _ __

 

_ I cross my arms as I sit down on his bed, my lips forming a pout at his words. It’s not fair that he’s suddenly leaving in the blink of an eye when we had planned a whole bunch of things to do with our friends this summer. _

 

_ “But we planned so many things! First of all, you promised me a sleepover tonight. You can’t just cancel like this. When will you come back home?” _

 

_ “A week before school starts, I think.” He said distractedly as was wrapping up his laptop charger. _

 

_ “What the-” I exclaimed. “We have plans, Minhyung. We’re supposed to drive out to Incheon this summer, you know how excited Chenle was for that. You’re breaking a child’s heart, Hyung.” _

 

_ “Stop it. Don’t try to make me feel guilty. You know I wanted to go, but you also know I barely get to go home.” Minhyung said and sat beside me on the bed. _

 

_ “You are home,” I muttered under my breath hoping Mark couldn’t hear me. “You were in Canada during Christmas and New Years. You never wanted to go during the summer before, don’t you want to spend it with me?” Mark rolled his eyes at my baby voice, but I kept going. _

 

_ “You’re being mean,” I told him, turning so my body faced his. I lightly slapped at his chest as he tried to stand up. To prevent that, I hooked my leg over his lap and sat down. He froze underneath me, as always. _

 

_ “Minhyung, please stay! I need you here with me.” I pinched his ear as I continued to land small hits on his chest. I accidentally hit his face when he moves to stand up too quickly. My heart drops as his expression darkens. _

 

_ “Stop being so childish! Just leave already!” Minhyung says with an outburst, picking me up by my hips and tossing me aside onto the bed. “I already told you I’m not staying, so just get over it! I don’t get why you’re so persistent about me staying.” _

 

_ “Because I love spending time with you Hyung,” I tell him from my spot on the bed. I was too nervous to sit up, too nervous to look at how angry he is. _

 

_ “Isn’t it obvious that I’m leaving to get away from you? You’re so annoying!” He says. My eyes start to leak a steady stream of tears down my face and into my mouth. I run downstairs and out of his front door so quick I don’t remember it.  _

 

So, why hasn’t contacted me yet? How come he doesn’t feel the need to apologize to me? And how come he seemed so unbothered as he laughed with his friends from the basketball team? He was standing next to his one of his friends who is as close to him as I am, Lucas. I have nothing against Lucas in the slightest, it’s just that Lucas is the first friend Minhyung made that wasn’t me. Sure, maybe I felt a little threatened at times, but all in all Lucas is my favorite friend of Minhyung’s from the team. Not right now, though. As I watch Lucas make  _ my best friend _ laugh again, one of his laughs where he thinks his face looks ugly and attempts to cover it, I was definitely glaring at Lucas. 

I hate to think this way, but I just can’t help it. He’s surrounding himself with people that aren’t me. They probably don’t even bother to ask about his day like I always did. Did they even notice the glint in his eyes when he hears his favorite songs play on the radio? Did they bother to learn to play those very songs on the piano to play for him over a phone call when he can’t sleep? They probably don’t even bother to ask what he does outside of bouncing a ball across the court. They probably don’t even know he would rather create music than play sports; that he’d rather improve his dancing than to shoot baskets. 

 

Does he even want that anymore? I thought I knew everything about him, but did I really know anything at all?

 

I especially hate thinking about him these days because it always left me with more questions than answers. Nobody ever taught me while growing up how to deal with this experience: your best friend of six years suddenly ignoring you. I had no explanations. He didn’t even hint at it. He didn’t seem annoyed in the slightest in those last few days we spent together. If anything he was more affectionate with me than ever before. He would let me land the kisses I threw his way for the first time in years. He even let me curl up around him, my body practically on top of his as we went to sleep.

 

I couldn’t possibly think of a single thing I could have done wrong to him. Maybe he had just realized that he shouldn’t be friends with someone younger than him, that he needed friends his own age. He realized that I was still childish, still playing with stuffed animals even though I’m 16. That I was still immature and giggled whenever anybody’s chair squeaked and sounded like a fart.

 

Ever since my decision to call Minhyung’s home phone religiously after our parents introduced us six years ago, he became my everything. But did he just feel obligated to come when I asked because of our parents’ relationship? Did he ever like me to begin with? Did he only see me as a stupid little boy his mom forced him hang out with?

 

After being taken over by negative thoughts, I backed away from the tree and went inside of the building to finally start my first day of sophomore year. A day that I will pretend Lee Minhyung never existed. 

 

Okay, so maybe I can’t do that. But I can try, right?

 

After not seeing Minhyung for the first part of the day I was feeling successful, accomplished even. But of course, Lee Minhyung has to ruin that just like he ruined my life. He ends up sitting at the table across from mine at lunch. And not only does he have to sit right in front of me, but he has to look good doing it? Like what is he gaining from this? He was always the cute, awkward guy of the basketball team. But now he’s deciding to look all kinds of sexy? It’s not right to do this to my heart.

 

Minhyung was always very cute, and his cuteness played a major part in who he was. His awkwardness was overlooked by everyone, seeing it as an adorable quirk added onto an already cute boy. But would those very people expect him to stop acting like his nervous and sweet self now that he looks like the rest of the team? 

 

The way his hair was pushed back messily told me that they did. The way that the muscles in his arms flexed when he picked up his water bottle told me that they expected another piece of eye candy, as if he wasn’t sweet to begin with. But honestly, I expected it too, although in a different sense. I expected him to be different because of what my mother told me about his family.

 

She told me that his cousin Johnny had come to move in with them to go to the university that Minhyung’s parents and my mom all work at. And from the things Minhyung told me about Johnny during our friendship, and what I figured out myself, I knew he was a terrible influence on my Minhyung’s life. He’s told me countless stories of how they’d do the stupidest things as kids, all because Johnny said they should. I also knew that whenever Minhyung was on the video call with him while I was over, he thought he’d seem cool if he acted rudely towards me.

 

One specific incident was the event that made me officially hate Johnny. Minhyung and I were sitting on his couch together. He was extremely tired from basketball practice, so he didn’t have the energy to tell me to stop pulling him onto my lap and nuzzling into his neck. We were watching a new horror film, something we always did during weekend sleepovers, when he suddenly gets a video call on his phone. It was Johnny, so he answered and I paused the movie. I sat there listening to Johnny call my precious Minhyung ‘Mark’. But, I stayed silent because Minhyung was on my lap, so I just continued to play with the hem of his shirt while waiting for the call to end. Suddenly, Johnny asks who’s with him when I yawn. Minhyung moves his phone over so Johnny can see my face. I put on a fake smile and give an enthusiastic greeting.

 

To sum up it up Johnny laughed about Minhyung sitting on my lap, and he got off so fast and started saying how I made him and that I was weird. I was silent for the rest of the night and the next morning until my mom picked me up.

 

So, yes, I do expect him to be different. And I also believe it’s the reason he hasn’t come up to me this morning or contacted me all summer.

 

“Donghyuck-Hyung, Hyungie! Are you even listening to me? I don’t understand this problem.” Jaemin complained from his seat, looking at a certain problem as if it offended him. His outburst broke me from my thoughts with a shock, feeling exposed and vulnerable, as if he knew what I was thinking about. I shouldn’t be embarrassed even if he somehow knew since he has been one of my best friends since just about forever. We met at the beginning of our first year of schooling and my younger self thought he was an angel. I thought this because just as I was about the complain to my teacher about how everyone in my class hates me, he came up to me and asked me to color with him. I feel like we were meant to be friends since we’re so similar.

 

He’s been there for me for as long as I can remember. The only thing that changed is that I know he isn’t an angel now, I know that he’s a demon in the disguise of a boy with a bright smile and a handsome face.

 

“You're supposed to be helping me!” He whined on and his pink lips formed a pout. “Instead you’ve just been helping yourself to what Minhyung is serving, yet again!” He exclaimed dramatically causing my eyes to widen. He had a tendency to shout when it wasn’t needed or wanted, so I immediately pushed my palm against his mouth so he wouldn’t scream anything else more harmful to my reputation.

 

“Shut the fuck up! I don't need anybody overhearing this,” I said with my fingers pressed so firmly over his mouth that I was almost worried it hurt him,  _ almost _ .  I was desperate to escape this conversation before Jaemin starts pushing his _ ‘Friends With Sexual Tension’ _ storyline onto me again. The kid is always convinced I love Minhyung since according to him I look at him like he’s my next meal. Sure, I do I look in his direction quite a lot, and have since we met when we were ten, but that’s just because I’m not an idiot. Minhyung has always been super cute to me, and now that he’s growing and maturing more he’s even better looking. But, that doesn’t mean I’m in love with him, he’s just my friend.

 

“Besides, I’m not even looking at him.” I removed my hand from his mouth but stayed guarded in case he had another outburst. “You act like you know everything, but you don’t.”

 

“About math, yeah, I know jackshit since you don’t know how to damn teach. But I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about you. You’re as obvious as hell. I know that you like him, you looked at him for not even a minute and your whole face is red. I’m tired of waiting for my parents to get back together!” Jaemin exclaimed while highlighting a set of math problems in red, our symbol for,  _ I have no clue what this means _ . I groaned at both his words and the section he highlighted about formulas. Helping Jaemin memorize a formula is not something I want to think about because the fact that I don’t like Minhyung hasn’t once stuck in his brain from the fifty-thousand times I have told him.

 

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I don’t like Lee Minhyung. And don’t call us your parents, that’s just fucking weird. I’m only looking at him because-” I paused. Was I looking at him because of our past or because I thought he was hot? Or was I just always noticed him without realizing, drawn to him like a moth to a flame?

 

“Because you like him and think he looks like your lunch.” Jaemin said, laughing at his own words, then he stopped suddenly as if lost in thought. “Oh yeah! Also I think I’ve heard that he’s going by his English name now.”

 

“No.” I deadpan. “He can’t be going by Mark. This is my worst nightmare come to life. I must be in the wrong universe, everything is a lie. Maybe Renjun has been right this whole time.”

 

“Oh Renjunnie~” Jaemin sings out with a soft smile. I roll my eyes as he snaps out of his love daze.

 

“Let’s go ask him then! We can pretend we’re going to talk to Renjun and Chenle’s brother.” Jaemin stated excitedly, pulling on my arm so I’d stand up with him.

 

“No!” I screamed out, shoving Jaemin’s hand off me, and forcing him to sit back down. I probably shouted louder than needed and pushed him harder than needed, but I didn’t feel sorry. With Jaemin I almost always had to act in a more severe way so he would listen to me. Besides, I did not want to talk to ‘Mark’. I attempted to ignore everyone that stared at me for my outburst as I turned to face Jaemin. “I just can’t.”

 

“It’s not like this is it for you. It was one disagreement,” Jaemin stated while placing his head down on my shoulder. 

 

“He hasn’t talked to me since it, though. You know this,” I told him sadly. He placed his hand on mine and laced our fingers together. I moved my thumb against the back of his hand, following the bumps of his knuckles. 

 

“Donghyuck, that’s in the past. I have no doubt in my mind that he’s more than willing to still be friends. Besides, who wouldn’t want to be your friend. You’re so cute.” Jaemin said, squeezing my cheek as he cooed. 

 

“Ah, stop!” I  pushed his hand away. “Let’s get back to the lesson, okay?” I felt Jaemin nod his head against my shoulder before he sat up straight. I’m glad he picked up on the fact that I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. He’s always knows when I’ve had enough, probably from years of bullying me. I pulled out a pen to correct Jaemin’s work he did while we were talking when suddenly I felt someone breathing down my neck, literally. I crane my head up to see Jeno peering down at the problem Jaemin was doing.

 

“That’s wrong, you know?” Jeno said. Jaemin jumped halfway out of his seat then rolled his eyes at the older boy. He pretended to be annoyed, but I noticed the slight flush to his cheeks at Jeno’s proximity. I gave Jaemin a smug smile and nudged him with my elbow, he ignored me as if he was the one names Lee Minhyung.

 

“Why’d it take you so long to get here?” Jaemin asked as he darted his tongue out in concentration to erase the problem Jeno said was wrong. He was actually doing it right, but I couldn’t be bothered to tell him.

 

“Mr. Moon,” Jeno said. I nodded in understanding,  just knowing Mr. Moon was responsible for his tardiness didn’t even require any extra information for me. That man was so nice and understanding, but if you didn’t finish your work because you were goofing off the whole period (definitely the case with Jeno) he would make you stay and finish it. I learned that the hard way with Renjun when we had him last year together, we were so bad that even when he moved our seats we still would make each crack up from complete different sides of the room.

 

Jaemin and I became friends with Renjun (and in turn his younger brother Chenle) in second grade. Them, their other brother, and their dad had moved here from China after their mother died. Renjun wasn’t too privy on making new friends, let alone learning Korean, but he came around eventually. From that point on, the three of us (and occasionally Chenle) were inseparable. We’d constantly be at each other’s houses, so much to the point that my mom would call me Jaemin or Renjun by accident. Renjun and Jaemin are like my own brothers, and I couldn’t love them anymore even if they were related to me. 

 

“Is that where Renjun and the brats are too?” I ask suddenly after thinking of him. 

 

“No, they went to see their brother and dragged Jisung with them. Chenle said something about Sicheng-Hyung accidentally taking their lunch money.” He said, pointing over to where the three boys in question stood. Jeno waved frantically at them, causing the whole table to look at us. I dragged my gaze over there but stopped when I realized Sicheng-Hyung was sitting at Minhyung’s table. It makes sense since he’s on the basketball team with Minhyung, along with Jisung and Jeno. Expect the fact the Jisung and Jeno aren’t sell-out traitors like their idiotic hyung is. Minhyung used to sit with us before he started ignoring me, but little did he know if he sat here instead of at that table, I most likely would have forgave him and clung to his side like I always used to. The fact that he sat there instead makes it official to me that he hates my guts.

 

Sicheng-Hyung is sitting beside the evil brat and when I look at him this time, he for some reason decides to finally look back at me. He stares with his stupidly adorable and dumb eyes wide open with shock. What did he forget I existed? Forget that I went to this school and that he’d have to eventually deal with me? I didn’t avert my stare from his, instead I hardened it. At least I tried, cause the next thing I knew he just laughed at the face I made and gave me a tiny wave. That bitch though I was happy to see him? Funny. Did he not realize how much he had hurt me? Was he not aware how much pain he caused me, intentional or not. Suddenly, Jaemin’s hands were grasped at the sides of my face turning it to face him, and rubbing my tears away with his thumbs.

 

“I’ll fucking kill him,” Jaemin muttered after pulling my face into the crook of his neck, fingers carding through my hair. “I didn’t know it hurt you that bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave any feedback you have for me or if you just want to talk or say hi 🤩🤩😙 
> 
> tHANKS FOR READING LOVE YOU


	2. i can hear you even when i cover my ears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy i worked hard for all of you !!! 🥰🥰😙😙

I’m convinced that the world is out to get me. And the thing is I can’t think of a single reason why. Sure, I broke a mirror when I was like ten, but is getting cursed with bad luck even a real thing that could happen to someone? And if so how long are you even jinxed for? I’m guessing probably  _ for-fucking-ever  _ since  _ every-fucking-thing _ goes wrong in my life. It seems as if a good thing never happens to me for real. 

 

I get the opportunity to move to Korea, but I have to bust my ass to learn the language as a child. I do great in school and am in the top ten of my class, but that’s paired with overwhelming amounts of stress and anxiety. My coach makes me co-captain of my basketball team, but then I have to deal with muscle pains. I get a part-time job I’m passionate about, which is helping young kids dance, but I have to hide the job description from my unapproving parents. I’m givin eyes, but they don’t even work properly without a lenses that is ten inches thick. I get to go back home to Canada to see my family, but my cousin Johnny moves back with us, into  _ my room _ . And I receive the best friend I could ever ask for, but I had to go and fall in love with him when I know he’d never love me back. 

 

The last good thing to happen to me that was actually a good thing was all the meals I ate during the summer, knowing I didn’t have to worry about my calorie intake until the school year started up again. And that in and of itself is really fucking sad.

 

I know it’s all my fault that I spread myself too thin, as my aforementioned best friend tells me all the time, but I can’t help it. My parents are both  _ always _ reminding me about how much they’d accomplished by my age. Reminding me how they were both already graduated from high school early as 16-year-olds (a whole year younger than me now) and attending college as double majors with a minor in taking care of me, the kid they accidentally had as teenagers. 

 

Because of that, I’ve  _ always  _ wanted a sibling. Whether it was a brother or a sister, I didn’t care. I just wanted one so we could complain about our insufferable parents with a tendency to compare us to themselves together. Someone to shoulder all the comments with. When I watched television shows like  _ Full House _ while growing up in Canada, I longed for a real family like theirs. Although their family didn’t have a mother, they received more support from their father then I’ve ever received from either of my parents. While watching the three sisters interact, I pretended I knew how they felt. I pretended to understand the love they had for each other and pretended I wasn’t all alone in my life. 

 

But as I watched my older cousin Johnny’s plate get filled with the best pieces of meat by my mother as mine was left empty, I thought about how stupid I was for wanting that. Of course I should know that not much has changed since Johnny moved in with us, my parents barely paid me any mind to begin with, but at least they occasionally looked at me. I sat in my chair completely silent as I chewed on a slightly charred piece of beef watching my parents fawn over my cousin.

 

Now that he is living with my in my house, I understand that having a sibling is something I could never handle. Thinking about having to do this throughout my childhood sent shivers down my spine. If my parents would compare me to themselves as often as they did when I was young, could you imagine if I had an older sibling they adored as much as they do Johnny? I wouldn’t have had space to breathe. And if I had a younger sibling they’d either be ridiculed for not living up to me or be more successful than me. Neither is ideal.

 

It’s no longer a dream of mine to have a sibling. Because not only has Johnny won over my parents, making them like him more than me, but he has taken over my entire bedroom. The room that has always been my one escape from my mother’s suffocating presence and my father’s disapproving stares was now ruined by his stench. He ruined my room’s whole organization and cleanliness in favor for placing his crumpled up clothes on my desk and shoving a huge bag of weed into my sock drawer. He even connected his phone to  _ my _ bluetooth speaker earlier today and had the nerve to put on stupid English songs that thought swearing repeatedly was even considered tasteful in the slightest.

 

I have past experience living with Johnny, so you’d think I’d be used to this, but I’m not. When we lived together in Canada in our grandparents’ house, we had separate rooms. We both lived there for different reasons. I had lived there with my parents since the day I was born, my mom had to move in while she was pregnant with me at sixteen since her family rejected her, and my grandma took her in with open arms. Johnny and his mom moved in when I was seven. They came all the way from Chicago after Johnny’s parents had a divorce and my aunt needed time to get back on her feet, yet again my grandma opened her home up to those in need. (My grandma has always been the kind to think with her heart.)

 

When Johnny and I lived in the same house, it wasn’t like it is now. Back then, I was his shadow for the three years I spent with him before I left for Korea, so I didn’t really require personal space or have my own opinions yet. I practically kissed the ground he walked on and followed his every word. And sure, I still love my cousin now, but now that I know the type of person he really is, I’d prefer him to love him from afar.

 

“Mark,” I snap up my head up to watch my father talk to me. “I arranged for some of the boys from work to come over tonight since we’re back home, so I’m gonna need you to turn in early after your mother and I give you your birthday gift. And school’s starting soon too so it’d be good to break your habit of staying up till’ the sunrise anyways.” Johnny makes a face which tells me he’s trying not to laugh, I kick his shin under the table before answering my father. 

 

“That’d be great and all, but I told you I had to go see Donghyuck as soon as we got back.” I told them. “I know it’s important to sleep earlier, but I know Donghyuck isn’t too thrilled with me right now since you took my phone away for the summer and I haven’t talked to him since the day we left.” I say in a little voice, trying to sound as passive as possible.   
  


“What are you blaming your mother for wanting you to spend the summer with your family for once instead of being glued to your screen texting that boy? It’s your first day back and you're already trying to ditch your family in order to spend time with him. It’s like you're asking me to return your birthday present, or better yet give it to Johnny.” I shrink back into my seat as my dad’s voice booms round the dining room. I shake my head lightly, pushing all the things I want to say aside, like how it isn’t my fault we came back later than expected. My dad seems satisfied at my quietness and in return my mother grabs a bag from beside her chair and hands it over to me. 

 

I grad it with uneasy hands and unwrap the gift without looking up. It’s weird that they are giving me an actual present this year, they normally put money in my college fund as a gift. Instead in my hands was a headphone set that I’ve been asking for since I saw them at a department store in Canada.

 

“Thank you so much!” I exclaim to them. I felt the urge to cry as I looked up at them. It was incredible that they finally listened to me for once, that they remembered that I wanted these. It was the best feeling in the world.

 

“It was Johnny’s idea. Thank him, Mark.” My dad said, nudging my cousin’s shoulder. My whole world crumbled around me as I watched my dad move on and tell Johnny stories about his work. I rise from my seat, leaving my gift lying beside my mostly untouched food. My parents call after me, but I ignore them. And when Johnny sends me a confused glance I ignore him too. I knew he wouldn’t understand.

 

From all the things I learned about Johnny this summer that I never knew before, I first learned that he had no sense of shame. I quickly figured out that he isn’t the kind of person of me to look up to, for one. I noticed that he was the one that needed a role model in his life, especially since his mom lets him do whatever he wants to. I was over the moon when I finally got of the plane to go see my charismatic and genius cousin, but I quickly realized he was just lazy and spoiled. I tried to stay positive since he’s my cousin and because he has always been the guy I looked up to and wanted to be like, but he made it so hard for me. 

 

Countless times during our stay I would hear my aunt yelling at him from a few doors down. She’d say how he needed a job or to apply for college since he graduated just that year, but it seemed like he wouldn’t do either, he was content living at home and mooching off of his mom and our grandparents. And that made me sick, I could never imagine wanting to live at home after I graduate, I plan on moving out faster than my parents could nag me about what I’m doing next.

 

In the end, Johnny’s mother forced him to go to the college in Korea that my parents worked at. My aunt and parents had made an agreement that Johnny would go to school here and that he’d live with my parents and I while doing so. This made me incredibly mad because all my life I’ve been pushing myself the farthest I could go and here my cousin Johnny was barely lifting a finger. He didn’t go out of his way to get into this school, instead he just let my mother arrange for him to go there, and I knew he wouldn’t take the schooling seriously.

 

It sucked for me because of how much his mom loved him and supported him and he was nothing but terrible to her when my parents didn’t even look my way unless I was holding an award or showing them my report cards. It made me furious how little Johnny appreciates his life. And now he is gonna live with me and do the same thing to my parents since they were too nervous to be strict with their nephew. Too nervous to slap him if he did anything wrong like they did with me. And I felt betrayed because Johnny used to always tell me about how good of a student he was, about how great of a son he was and that fact he was lying to me the whole time hurt. When he told me these things he’d make me feel inferior, just like I always felt around my parents.  And even though those things he told me were lies, I still felt below him as I watched my parents smile warmly at him. It hurt so much.

 

When I returned to my room, I sank down onto my bed and silently sobbed. It wasn’t fair that they liked Johnny so much. I try so fucking hard and it all goes ignored when my stupid ass cousin comes to live with us. I know there’s nothing remarkable about me, I’ve known it since I was a child, but compared to Johnny I should have been everything my parents wanted. I should be somebody they are proud to call their son. Instead I’m the last thought during dinner, the one who receives burnt meat and cold rice. Maybe they wanted me to be more like Johnny, maybe they wanted a child who was more carefree and willing to be outspoken. Maybe they wanted Mark back, the boy who used to be so energetic and fun-loving in Canada. The boy that would not only dominate the basketball court, but have fun while doing it. Maybe they wanted the boy that I no longer am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE !!!! 🥰💖😍🤩🤩


	3. when i think of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone this is ***VERY IMPORTANT ***
> 
> so basically i changed a few aspects of you read this before 1/22 if this doenst invlobe you just ENJOY THE READ anywaysssss i changed it so hyuck is a sophomore and marks team is basketball and not soccer 
> 
> LOVE YOU ALL 🥰🥰🤩

My eyes blink open as a series of tapping sounds wake me up. I rub sleepily at my face while yawning. When I remember how I had stormed off during dinner last night I let out a soft groan of pure regret. It was stupid of me to leave like that, because one of two things will happen. I will either get yelled at,  _ which sucks. _ Or they will pretend that nothing happened and talk to me with venom-laced voices, eluding at the situation so nobody can tell except me. I begrudgingly remove my feet from the warm blankets curled around them and place them onto the cold hardwood floor. My mind attempts to process what the sounds I had heard while waking up were and just when my brain almost convinced me it was nothing, I hear it again. This time I easily made it out as somebody throwing pebbles at my window. 

 

But who would even be doing that? I didn’t really have many people in my life that would. My closest friend is Donghyuck, and it definitely isn’t him since I knew there was no way he’d come to me after what happened this summer. Whenever we had gotten in small disagreements in the past, he’d be too stubborn to talk to me about it, leaving me to fix the situation myself. And I don’t think this is any exception. 

 

I consider the fact that it could be Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, or Chenle, but I couldn’t think of much of a reason they’d be doing it. Jaemin, Renjun, and Chenle all favored Hyuck over me, (I don’t blame them.) so I had no doubt in my mind they’d stay mad at me as long as Donghyuck does. Jeno, on the other hand, is wrapped around Jaemin’s finger, whether he knows it or not, so there’s no way he will talk to me if Jaemin isn’t. Jisung, however, is the most likely candidate since he’s planning on joining the basketball team and I’m one of the co-captains. All last year he would be constantly be asking me questions while hanging out and bombarding my phone with messages about it. But how would he have gotten here this early? He lives at least twenty minutes away and I couldn’t envision him waking up this early to ask for help from me when the other co-captain of the team is his next-door neighbor. 

 

So maybe it is Hyuck.

 

I run to my window and nearly trip over my sheets in the process only to find out it’s Lucas and Sicheng-hyung. I suddenly feel shitty for not considering any of the guys from the team, especially Lucas. I met Lucas in school after I moved here, and he is probably my closest friend besides Hyuck. But with Sicheng-hyung, it’s not like I would have ever had the thought it’d be him of all people standing out there in my front yard. He’s Renjun and Chenle’s older brother so it’s so fucking weird for me to see him as my friend and not just their brother. Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy, but it’s weird seeing him at my house when he’s not here to just drop off his little brothers.

 

“What?” I shout out of my window after pulling it open. The coldness of the morning air bites at my bare chest while I squint my eyes to see them clearly. I really should have gotten my glasses and a hoodie or something to throw on. 

 

“Get dressed and come out here! Or I will be forced to do something I might regret!” Lucas screams out to me so loud it echoes in my ears. I panic as I look over at my new roommate. Johnny was sprawled out on a sleeping mat that was provided for him to use until my mom clears out her office for him. His mouth hung wide open as he snored almost as loud as Lucas was yelling. I'm surprised that Johnny didn't wake me up, yet the the tapping did. But, it was obvious he wasn't waking up anytime soon, which is good. I don’t feel like having to talk to him.

 

“What does that even mean?” I ask tiredly when I turn back to them, halfway shielding my body from the cold. 

 

“It means you have to get down here in less than ten minutes. Coach wants us to meet before school starts today. We knew you didn’t have your phone so you wouldn’t see the text, so Lucas-ah and I just decided to come get you.” Sicheng says. I quickly rush into action once I process his words.

 

I throw all the tons of school supplies my mom had got me into my backpack.  (I can’t have one hug but I can have an array of binder clips in every size and color?) I don't care enough to organize it though, since I could do that later. Next, I get my duffle for basketball that thankfully has been packed and ready since the last season ended. (Also, full of old, smelly clothes and snack wrappers, but let's not discuss that.) The last step is trying to look presentable. At the moment my eyes are still puffy from crying myself to sleep last night, but I still shove my contacts in, knowing I’ll be irritated all day. My hair also looks like it belongs on the head of a toddler, so I quickly push product through my hair in an attempt and throw on some clothes I could practice and go to school in, a black sleeveless shirt with black sweats. I throw on my shoes and grab a hoodie before I run down the stairs and out of the house. I made it out to Sicheng’s car in record time.

 

“Did Coach say what we’ll be meeting about?” I ask as I buckle myself in. Just as Lucas goes to answer he stops short when we all notice Taeyong’s car driving behind ours. We share a collective coo as we notice Jisung buckled up in his backseat.

 

“Any way, he didn’t say much. In the group text he sent he said that he just wanted to have a quick talk with us. Probably just how it’s always been,” He trailed off. I nod in understanding. For the past two years I went here, Mr. Kim has always requested that whoever could make it should come early on the first day. Whether he wanted to meet with new freshmen before classes started, or to catch up with his upperclassmen he hasn’t seen all summer outside of set practice hours.

 

“We also have to get Yuta on the way.” Sicheng says. He sounded a little too happy, but I brushed it off. I knew that was one of the only people to get Sicheng out of his shell, and I didn’t want to make fun of him for that. Lucas isn’t as nice as I am.

 

“I’m shocked you two weren’t already together, Hyung.” Lucas laughed out in his usual too-loud way that annoyed most people, but I found endearing. Sicheng felt the same way and laughed off Lucas’s attempt to poke fun at him.

 

“I was wondering the same thing about Jungwoo, Xuxi.” Sicheng told him as he turned left into Yuta-Hyung’s driveway. Lucas sat in silent shock and I was in hysterics in the backseat as Yuta-Hyung got in the car next to me. I was still giggling as all four of us walked into the locker room while Yuta-Hyung looked at me like I was insane.

 

It seemed like we were the first ones to make it, with only Taeyong-Hyung and Jisung walking in directly after we did. Now, I’m not the type for physical contact in the slightest, but with our team’s maknae (and the maknae of what I hope is still my friend group), I couldn’t help but to accept his hugs, especially when he threw himself at me while chanting my name.

 

“Hyung! Hyung! Minhyung-hyung! I missed you so much!” He yelled in my ear while clutching at the back of my shirt with excitement. “I have  _ sooooo _ much to tell you, hyung! About everything you missed this summer!”

 

“I missed you too, Jisung-ah! And I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there. I had to leave for Canada last minute.” I told him when let go of me.

 

“I didn’t hang out with the boys that much anyway, hyung. Donghyuck-Hyung and Chenle were being ridiculously salty to me, and honestly I didn’t have time for that. The other hyungs except Jeno were just distant for some reason, so Jeno and I just hung out alone on most days to practice and prepare for the basketball season. Other than that, I stayed home and worked on my dancing.” Jisung trailed off.

 

“I’m sorry, Jisung-ah. If I came you wouldn’t have been so lonely. I promise I’ll take you to ice cream after every game to make up for your terrible summer.” I told him. Jisung clapped excitedly as I thought of something else. “Do you have any idea why Hyuck and Chenle were upset with you?”

 

“Nope, I have no clue. But they got all short with me when I was talking about the basketball team. Maybe they don’t like that basketball is going to take up most of my time, so I won’t have as much time for them any more. I feel bad, but it’s not like I’m doing it intentionally. It’s not my fault, right?” Jisung asked me. His spoke in such an unsure tone that I placed my hand on his shoulder.

 

“No, it’s absolutely not your fault. They will learn to be happy for you, it’s okay.” I tell him, and then I turn when Taeyong calls my name to greet me.

 

“Hey guys, I was thinking about it, and I kinda want to be called Mark from now on.” I told them, scratching at my neck. It’s technically true, my parents call me Mark still, and they always preferred me when I went by it in Canada. So I figured why not?

 

“Canada got to your head, didn’t it?” Jisung asked with horror. Jaehyun’s laugh sounded from behind the freshman as he made himself known in the room for the first time. Taeyong excitedly called his name and threw his arm around Jaehyun’s shoulders.

 

“And I want to be called Jeffery,” He laughed out, coming forward to shake my hand in a greeting. I laughed slightly at his joke as Taeyong pinched the softness of Jaehyun’s arm.

 

“Okay, Mark-ah. Whatever you want to be called by, we’ll all do it. Right, Jaehyunnie?” Taeyong says, looking mostly at Jaehyun. We all knew Jaehyun was joking, but Taeyong was protective like that, especially with me.

 

“I think it’s more than fine. I mean, we call Xuxi ‘Lucas’. And I go by my Japanese name, so there’s nothing wrong with what you want, Mark-ah.” Yuta tells me, the rest of the team seems to just nod in agreement, which makes me glad. I sigh in relief just as Jisung lands a huge ass smack on my bicep out of nowhere. I yelp in pain and rub my arm.

 

“Your birthday was yesterday!” He shouts excitedly, clapping his hands to catch the rest of the boys’ attention. My eyes grew wide as all of them started shouting birthday wishes to be, I smiled and thanked them as quickly as possible, wishing for them all to just forget. I’d rather hear about Jaehyun’s opinions on the nurse’s legs for the twentieth time than get any more attention for my birthday. Yesterday was terrible for me enough for me as it is.

 

“We really don’t have to talk about it anymore. It’s fine,” I let out, attempting to shove Jungwoo’s puckered lips away from my face and deny Taeyong’s cash that was being pushed my way. Suddenly, a voice cut through all the commotion of the locker room. And I thank God.

 

“Hey boys! Did you all have a good summer?” Our coach’s voice cuts through. All the boys turn on instinct to his voice. All their voices mix as they excitedly talk to him. On the other hand, I stay leaned against the lockers with a mixture of panic. This wouldn’t be last time my birthday will be mentioned today. I hate to say it, but my birthday is a big deal to a lot of people at school. Whether to gain my attention or make themselves look better. The first day is always known as “The Day After Minhyung’s Birthday”.

 

“Why didn’t you remind us sooner, Mark?” Jaehyun asked, the only one who stayed glued to my side. I shrugged my shoulders, suddenly feeling completely withdrawn from the situation. I just wanted to go home and go sleep my day away.  “Hey, why are you so down? Do you really hate your birthday that much?” Jaehyun continued with concern, reaching over to place his hand on my shoulder.

 

“Yeah, I guess I do.” I said. 

 

“I’ve been meaning to tell you all about my plans for this season.” Coach Kim stated, pulling everyone’s attention to him with his sudden booming voice. “As you can see we are short this year. We have only nine players, when we need at least twelve to qualify for games. So, I need Taeyong and Minhyung to run tryouts for this year.”

 

“It’s Mark.” I tell him, deciding to fully dedicate to this. He just blinks at me.

 

“I need Taeyong and  _ Mark _ to run tryouts this year. I don’t care if all they do is trip over their feet, we already have amazing players. But I need three more players.  _ We all need players. _ ” He continues. “Other than that, which the co-captains and I will discuss later, I want to hear any of your ideas for the year.” 

 

Taeyong jump up immediately at the words.

 

“I think that we should do a switch in roles. Just to test out everybody’s other skills.” He asked, looking at everyone one by one, avoiding our coach’s eyes. “Okay, so I was thinking we should have another Point Guard this season. It was just me last year, and I’ll admit I would have loved a back-up.” Taeyong said with certainty. “Mark too. Coach, I know you put him as the main Small Forward for a reason, but I think Sichang should be able to play more. His nickname isn’t Winwin for nothing, coach.”

 

“I completely agree with you, Hyung. The only reason we have so many wins under our belts is cause of our teamwork, not because of any one player. I think it’d be great to switch it up. It’d show everyone that we aren’t reliant on any one player.” Jaehyun speaks up, he rests his hand on Taeyong’s shoulder. Taeyong smiles at him brightly and I sigh at his clear infatuation for his teammate. I felt so bad knowing Jaehyun won’t ever accept his feelings, much like case for Donghyuck and I.

 

“Yeah! Switching it up would be such a good idea! Sicheng has always been so good at weaving around other players to make the shot ever since we were kids.” Yuta said excitedly, clasping his hands around Sicheng’s arm.

 

“And Jungwoo is so good at that too. He’s so smooth and fast and amazing and handsome. I say he should have more chances too!” Lucas says with the most passion I’ve heard from him, and that says a lot considering I’ve heard him rant about why he should hang out with my younger friends and me over ten times.

 

“I mean, they are right, Coach. Taeyong and I have been the mains in our positions for a whole two seasons now, so it’s only fair to give someone else a shot.” I added on, looking at our coach. He looked ready to yell at us, but the second he opened his mouth to speak he shut it again and took a deep breath.

 

“That’s enough for now. Get out of here.” He let out finally. We all let out breaths of relief as he leaves to enter his office. 

 

We all retreated to the front lawn of our school wordlessly. Nobody dared to say a word about what happened so we just stood chatting about nonsense as we waited for the first bell to ring. I was kinda shocked that our coach didn’t yell at us or sass us out like he normally does when we get too bossy about team positions. He must still be in a good mood because of the summer since he didn’t try to talk us out of our ideas.

 

Just as I was about to tell Taeyong my thoughts, I notice Donghyuck’s sun-kissed skin out of the corner of my eye. He was standing against the tree in front of me with his side profile facing me. My eyes stuck to his light pink hair first, it was the first time he has ever had color in his hair, and it was sending me back into my repressed feelings for him. During our whole friendship, all I wanted to do was run my fingers through his hair that was always so fluffy, yet so smooth-looking at the same time. The urge came back stronger than ever at the contrast of his peach hair that fell across his honey-colored skin. His skin was always had a beautiful natural tan, but I had forgotten how much deeper it gets in the summer. 

 

The more I look in his direction the harder it gets for me to stop. My eyes follow down the slope of his soft nose until they reach his lips. They were parted as he looked at the grass the stood around his feet. They held a shine to them, and I wanted nothing more than to taste which flavor of gloss he had chosen today. My guess was lemon, he always likes he wear his favorite one on days that would make him nervous, like the first day of school would. He’s so precious and cute that I want to bang my head against the very tree he’s leaning on. 

 

I’m so fucking stupid for putting him down like that when I left. It was just so hard for me to say goodbye to him that I decided it’d be easy if he was mad at me, it would have been fine if my mom didn’t take my phone. But instead we haven’t talked in over two months, my hands were shaking and I felt sweat pooling up around my neck at that thought of facing him after all of that. But, I have to.

 

I know just as well as any one of Donghyuck’s other friends how sensitive he is. He won’t just come up to me, I know he’s probably second guessing our whole friendship over this. It’s always up to me in times like this since Hyuck is the one to get more stuck in his own head than me. Just as I step forward and call his name out, he retreats the the school as fast as he can.

 

Of course.

 

\---

 

“You look ugly, Sicheng.” A voice suddenly sprung up. I pull my eyes from my water bottle I was fiddling with to see Sicheng’s brothers with a very uncomfortable looking Jisung trapped as they both have an arm locked with him. Yuta scoffed at the words and rubbed at Sicheng’s thigh lovingly. I wanted to roll my eyes, but I smiled instead. I waved a greeting to the boys and as Jisung went to speak to me Chenle forced him to stop looking at me. I sighed in disappointment, I was right about him being upset with me.

 

“Don’t be so rude,” Sicheng whined, smacking Renjun on his chest from his seat. “Why are you even here, you brats?”

 

“You stole from us,” Chenle stated with pure evilness on his adorable face. Sicheng sputtered in confusion as the whole table stared at him lovingly. It was a known fact they all had a soft spot for their friend’s little brothers, except me. I saw the actual evil dripping from his features when he bit Jaemin at his twelfth birthday party because they both wanted the flower that was on the cake. “Our lunch money.”

 

“I don’t even buy lunch. Why would I take it?” Sicheng asked defensively, obviously taking a huge offense from this accusation. Taeyong sprang forward with the money he tried to give to me earlier for my birthday that I should have taken.

 

“Here. Take this, you don’t even have to pay me back. Your hyung will take care of you, unlike your so-called brother.” He said. Chenle swiped it happily with a demonic giggle. All of my hyungs cooed at his laughter, but I just winced. That kid scares me, especially since he’s mad at me right now.

 

“We have to get back to  _ our _ friends now,” Renjun said, looking at me in particular as he pointed back at his table. I looked over to see Donghyuck again. He was sitting with the boy from earlier along with another boy his age. All three looked over at my table before I looked away, and Donghyuck’s eyes met mine. He looked as beautiful as ever, but he looked sad. His eyes glimmered in the way they always did when he was having a bad day. On those days, I’d push aside my indifference for skinship and let him crawl all over me if he so pleased. I wished for nothing more than to be his friend again, but it’s too late. My gaze flicked down to his mouth. A mouth meant for smiling, but instead, his lips were shaking and I watched as tears slipped down his cheeks. My heart dropped and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I forced myself to look away and focused on my shaking hands that lay on the table in front of me. I’m such a fucking idiot for doing what I did to him.

 

“What the fuck just happened?” Jaehyun said after several moments of everyone being speechless.

 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” I said leaving all my belongings where they were and getting out of the cafeteria as quick as possible. I heard Lucas’ loud voice paired with Jungwoo’s soft one calling for as I made my way to the bathroom. As soon as I made it in, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror pulling at my hair as my eyes leaked. Why am I so fucking stupid? I can’t believe I made Donghyuck feel so shitty that he started fucking crying when he looked at me. I start banging my head with my fists, and Lucas and Jungwoo’s arms quickly wrapped around my body to stop me as I sobbed uncontrollably. I never meant for it to be like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reaffing it means the absolute world to me i’m sorry i keep changing things and that i’m posting socslow it’s just that i’m trying to make this be the best possible version it could be 
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE COUPLES YOU WANT TO SEE OR FRIENDSHIPS YOU WANT ME TO EXPLORE MORE AND ANY OTHER SUGGESTIONS TO !!💖


	4. even if you’re in a place where i cant touch you, i feel you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GIYS ITS BEEN A WHILE  
> I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT !!!!

After the trainwreck that was lunch, I was  _ so _ embarrassed. I was never the type to let my emotions get the best of me around people I don’t really know, let alone an entire cafeteria full of my peers. The fact that I had cried like that in front of them really affects me. I feel like everyone is looking at me, judging me. I know that isn’t really the case at all, and most of these kids are more worried about me, rather than making fun of me. But, it still just gets to me. I’m the kid whos always cracking jokes. The one who helps change the mood when it’s too suffocating or serious in class. My nickname isn’t ‘Full Sun’ for nothing. I didn’t want anyone to pity me, or look at me in any different way. I liked having them not ever see a weak side of me. That side is reserved for Minhyung. For my friends. For my mom. Maybe even some of my Drama Club friends. But  _ definitely not for the whole school _ . 

 

There’s no fucking way I can make it through the rest of today. Countless people have already come up to me in these past few minutes just look at me with pity and ask if I’m okay. I want to say that I’m obviously not fine, that I didn’t cry for no fucking reason. But, me being me, I just reassure them that I’m perfectly okay and accept the small hugs and short handshakes they offer to me. I can’t take it any longer, though.

 

“I’m calling my mom.” I tell my friends suddenly when Lalisa, the junior class president, walks away from our table after using my mental breakdown as an excuse to flirt with me. The first thing I have to say about that is that I understand, between my charming personality and my stunning appearance, what’s not to like. The second thing is that it’s pretty clear to everyone in this whole school that I’m gay, even teachers. And finally I heard that Jisoo, the best player on the volleyball team and is fully equipped to kill me, likes her. So, yeah, I’m nervous. Anyway, I have no doubt in my mind that my mom would come pick me up right now. She’s always been very protective and understanding of me. I knew she would be more than willing to drop everything and come comfort me. I just really needed a hug from her right now after what happened. 

 

“No!” Renjun bursts out with disbelief. “You can’t just leave!”

 

“I’d leave to if I did something like that,” Jisung offers up quickly, as if he was waiting to say that. I glare at him as he goes on.

 

“It was really embarrassing and you don’t look the best when you cry.” The brat then proceeds to mock the face I made when I cried by scrunching up his eyebrows and frowning in an exaggerated way, Chenle cackles loudly and the others roll their eyes with me. I pull my phone out of my pocket and begin a text to my mom.

 

“Hey, stop it!” Renjun says, crawling over his brother and the table to get to me. He swipes my phone from my hands and I scramble to grab it, but to no avail. “If you go home, not only will you be leaving Yuri and Jeno for death in Mr. Moon’s class, but you’ll be setting yourself up for failure on the first day of school.”

 

“He’s right Hyuck,” Jaemin says, Jeno nods his head in agreement from beside me. Jisung and Chenle are laughing as they grab my phone from Renjun and start messing with it, completely ignoring the gravity of the situation. I roll my eyes, as it’s the only defense I have right now. I knew they were right before they even started talking, no I don’t need them knowing that.

 

“Every year you do this. You always leave when things mildly inconvenience you. Like for example, the time you stayed home for a week since you had to paint in your art class for a project  and you don’t like painting.” Jaemin starts off. I shrug, because that was a valid enough reason for me. Sure, it was dumb, but at the time it relieved me major stress. Why would I go to school and do something I hate doing?

 

“Well, what about the time when we argued all day about what Twice’s concept would be for their comeback and then got mad when I was right.” Jaemin continued. I shrugged, yet again seeing no problem. If I had stayed in school the day and forced myself to endure Jaemin’s constant teasing, I would have gotten myself expelled. And leaving school early and missing three classes is better than being expelled and missing all of them for the rest of time.

 

“How about when we were in elementary school and we had the same recess time. I remember you had gotten yourself in recess detention every day while you were mad at me for not pushing you high enough on the swing.” Renjun added on.

 

“I was like seven.” I tell him, waving his words off. Jaemin and Renjun both sigh heavily when they realize they aren’t getting anywhere with me. Good.

 

“Okay, give me my phone now. My mom is on lunch break, and my ass wants to go home and eat everything I can find and then sleep until school tomorrow morning.” I reach out for my phone and Jisung just slaps my hand as Chenle continues to take selfies on my phone. I’ve never felt more betrayed in my life. You buy someone ice cream all summer and you’d think they’d respect you even a little bit. Kids these days.

 

“I’ll kill you if you leave.” Renjun says. He is suddenly behind me as he puts me in a chokehold. I sputter out dramatically as he stands there, putting no pressure on my neck at all. Just as I’m about to bite his wrist, Jeno smacks Renjun’s side cause he thinks I’m actually in pain until he releases me.

 

“Lee Donghyuck you make me so mad,” Renjun tells me. “I’ve had enough of you. I’m telling my dad that you plan to cheat your way through his class this semester!”

 

We all gasp. This is a  _ major _ threat. I’m already terrible in Mr. Qian’s class to begin with, so this easily something that old man would see some truth in. But, then I really think about it. First, Renjun tries to convince me stay with his mini intervention. Then, he threatens my life. And now he’s telling he’ll tell his dad that I was planning to cheat in his class. While I know that I’m Mr. Qian’s favorite of his son’s friends (deep  _ deep  _ down in his elderly heart) and that he wouldn’t believe his second most chaotic and evil son. So, I give in for Renjun’s sake. Renjun has always showed me affection in an odd way, ever since we became friends, so I’m figuring right now that this is his twisted way of wanting the best for me.

 

And that, I can work with.

 

\---

 

“Good morning, my sunshine! It’s time for my beautiful boy to get out of bed and go learn something! God knows he needs to!” My mom says happily jumping onto my bed and smushing my cheeks with her cold hands. 

 

“So mean,” I pout sleepily and turn my face away from her gaze.

 

“Get up, Hyuck. I’m driving you to school today, no bus.” She tells me as she slams my bedroom door shut. I jump up in excitement. I have been taking the bus for these past two weeks of school, which is hard to get used to when Minhyung drive me all of last year. But he had to go and ruin that privilege for me, just like he ruined our friendship.

 

It doesn’t bother me as much now. I’ve successfully avoided talking to him for two whole weeks now and I don’t even have to see him at lunch anymore since my friends and I started sitting with the rest of the drama club. Jeno and Jisung weren’t too fond of that idea at first since they only knew Yuri (one of my best friends besides the boys) and have barely even met Joy, Irene, Wendy, or Seulgi. Also, the fact that table would be behind crowded with us six joining a table that already had five, but they got over the squishing together. We all did. 

 

When I’m looking over my appearance I remember that I’m going to Renjun’s after school. He planned this huge party with Seulgi for all of the drama club so that she could announce what play we’ll be doing this year. Any party that Renjun helps plan definitely involves drinks, which will most definitely leave me to sleepover his house. I quickly throw together a makeshift bag of extra clothes, my toothbrush, and my phone charger before exiting my bedroom.

 

I turn into the kitchen to see my mom sat on the table whisper-yelling into her phone. I crouch down behind the half wall that separates the kitchen from the living room and press my ear against it. 

 

“Well, you have to fucking fix it, Jennie. I'm sick and tired of things being this way, and I know you are too!” My eyes squeeze shut when I hear the name, I remind myself to breathe and clear my throat when I get up and stand beside her. I pull my best innocent face as she looks at me with wide eyes. 

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Taemin. I have to go now, we’ll continue this conversation at work.” She quickly says, ending the phone call and going to ruffle my hair. I smile at her and pretend I didn’t pick up on how she blatantly lied to me.

 

“You have the drama club party tonight, right?” She asks me, I nod my head and grab a banana from the counter. “Okay. Well, let’s get out of here before you’re late.” 

 

I sit in the front seat in silence, giving occasional words as my mom complains about her coworkers and try not to think about the phone call. When she pulls up to my school, I peck her cheek quickly before darting away as fast as I can. 

 

I spend most of my day as usual, bored out of my mind and averting my eyes whenever I see Minhyung. (Or Mark, as he insists to go by now.) So, when it’s finally fine for last period, I’m more than excited. Not exclusively because it’s the last period, but also because it’s Mr. Moon’s class. He is my absolute favorite teacher in this school. (Sorry, Renjun and Chenle’s dad.) He is not my favorite because he’s the drama club director, although that aids it, but because he’s such a nice and genuine guy. He isn’t the type of teacher to make student’s lives a living hell, and he definitely isn’t the type to try and pander to students by being all lenient and friendly. He is a great person and I respect him a lot. That being said, that’s why I’m so confused when I walk up to his classroom.

 

He isn’t standing outside the door like usual greeting students, instead he’s sat at his desk in silence. I immediately go sit in my seat beside Jeno and whisper to him.

 

“What’s going on?” I ask him. When he begins to open his mouth, Mr. Moon clears his throat and starts telling us what we are doing in class today. He doesn’t smile and he doesn’t bother waiting for the final bell to ring, as if he wants to get this over with as soon as possible. 

 

“I expect you all to be silent while you complete this assignment, it doesn’t require discussion. Jeno, pass it out for me please.” He finishes, placing the pile of papers on Jeno’s desk in front of him and then retreats to his desk. I frown in disappointment when he doesn’t add a quippy ‘And that means you, Donghyuck.’ after telling us to be silent. He doesn’t even bother to explain the assignment any further like he normally does. He doesn’t seem sad in the slightest, he seemed more mad than anything else. The bell signaling class has officially begun rings just as Yeri walks in.

 

“Late,” Mr. Moon says briefly, looking as if he was clicking the late box on his online roster. He is definitely mad. He never marks anyone as late, ever. I quickly pull out my phone and open up the group chat.

 

hyuckie has changed the conversation to ‘mooney is mad’

 

yeri: SJBKJCBKWBV

 

hyuckie: it’s fuckin tru tho.

he is making that face jisung makes when any of us call him cute

 

pwark jisung: is that something that was necessary to say?

 

jaemin: does he look anywhere as cute my jisungie

 

yuri: i mean,,,,,

he’s looking more sexy than cute, but that besides the point.

 

A small giggle escapes my mouth, and when I make eye contact with Yuri who is smirking playfully at me I let out another burst of silent laughter. I look up to see Mr. Moon’s eyes on me in a disapproving way. I look down and pretend to read my worksheet, smile still on my lips. I look back down as another string of texts come my way.

 

jeno: You absolutely disgust me.

 

jaemin: i see where you’re coming from, those eyes…

mmhm

 

renjun: dont forget to come over after practice, jisungie and jeno.

and if any of you don’t show up, you aren’t in the play. 

 

hyuckie: wouldn’t miss it for the world, baby. 

 

joy: irene and wendy have a travel game

idk if u remember

and you don’t have the rights to do that

 

chenle: oh he knows. he bought all their favorite snacks on purpose.

 

jisung: shut up. i’m in class. 

 

hyuckie: obviously. we’re all in damn class you fucking breadstick.

 

seulgi: All of you, stop swearing and stop talking about Mr. Moon. 

 

yuri: i’ll stop when he stops being so sexy

 

jaemin: agreed. 

 

jeno: okay but seriously if his minecraft block looking head keeps looking at me, i’m gonna have to start tap dancing on my desk or something. i don’t know what else he wants from me.

 

jaemin: he could mine my cave out any day~

 

yuri: he better put that pickaxe to use

 

chenle: you and noona need to stop with this joke. it ain’t that funny sis. maybe the day your lips stop being so crusty is the day something is at least halfway laughable will come out. 

 

A loud chuckle escapes my mouth and Yuri and Jeno both facepalm as I silently shake to keep myself from laughing. Mr. Moon clears his throat from above me with his hand reached out towards me. I give him my phone silently and ignore the way the whole class stares at me.

 

“You’re so dumb. Were you even trying to hide it?” Yuri says as soon as the bell rings signalling the day is over. She whispered to me through the commotion of students leaving the room, including Jeno who has to go to basketball practice. 

 

“That’s not even the fucking worst part. I gave it to him unlocked, what if he saw the texts before he put it in his desk.” I said. I felt my whole body react before any sound came out of my chest. If he had to read  _ those _ text. I laughed out, throwing myself against Yuri as she tried to push me away.

 

“Stop laughing. I’ll never be more embarrassed in my entire fucking life if he did.” She let out defeatedly, rubbing the crease of her forehead as I wrapped my hands around her waist. If anything her telling me to stop laughing made me laugh more. Tears streamed down my face as I clutched at the hem of her shirt. I contain myself by the time all the students besides us are gone and step forward towards Mr. Moon’s desk.

 

“Um, hi Mr. Moon,” I trail off nervously. “I’m really sorry. I could tell you weren’t having the greatest of days but I still didn’t act in a way I should have. Please don’t tell my mom.” I let out in one breath, blinking every two seconds. 

 

“It’s fine. You actually made me feel a little better, seeing you laugh like that. I guess I let my personal problems get in the way of having a good time with my favorite students today.” He tells me, and my shoulder sag in relief. My mom is a very understanding person, but she hates when I get in trouble in school.

 

“It’s alright, Mr. Moon. We all have rough days,” I told him in my ‘student’ voice, the soft and sweet voice I use to get teachers to let me hand in assignments late. He smiled brightly at me and pulls my phone out from his drawer, ridiculously huge bunny case and all. How I thought Mr. Moon wouldn’t notice that thing is the real mystery here. I grab my phone from his hands while bowing.

 

“Thank you so much. I hope you have a good weekend to make up for your bad day today,” I say while Yuri laughs about how stupid my phone case is.

 

“You too, Donghyuck, but not too much. You have my assignment to do still. I know you didn’t lift a finger in class.” He laughed, then beckoned me forward over with the wave of a hand, then whispers to me. “Next time, maybe hide it under your desk or take off this ridiculous case.”

 

“Did you miss your bus waiting for him, Yuri?” He says suddenly after whispering to me. I laugh at his previous words, and about how stupid I am.

 

“Yeah, but we’re gonna walk to our friend Renjun’s house, though. It’s not that far,” Yuri said. “And thank you for being so nice about it, considering if you saw anything…” She trailed off with embarrassment.

 

“It’s okay, I only saw a message about Jaemin. I assume it was in good fun, right? You aren’t bullying him?” Mr. Moon asked seriously, but I knew he was joking. He didn’t cast Jaemin and I as Chip and Mrs. Potts in last year’s play for nothing. “And you’re referring to Mr. Qian’s son, right?”

 

“Yeah, that’s him.” I nodded. “And of course I’m bullying him. It’s all I do.” Yuri nudges me with her elbow as she tried to hide her laughing at my comment, but I roll my eyes as wrap my arm around her waist.

 

“Don’t push your luck. And I can drive you there, I have to pick up some stuff from him anyway.” Mr. Moon said. He grabbed his bag and swung in onto his shoulder. “If you wanna do that, let’s get going, kids.”

 

Once Yuri and I were safely buckled in the back seat with our backpacks on our laps (Mr. Moon let neither of us in front after we fought) and after him checking if we were really buckled in four times since teenagers ‘couldn’t be trusted’ he finally pulled out of the teacher’s parking lot. 

 

“Mr. Moon,” Yuri started, pushing her shoulder up against mine despite the gap from the middle seat to get a better view of him. “What’s the play this year?”

 

“Um, nothing is set in stone yet. Hasn’t told Seulgi you anything?” He asks, flicking his turn signal to go left. “She really did most of the deciding.”

 

“I’ve practically been begging her. She won’t tell us shit, to be frank with you.” I tell him exasperatedly. The play wasn’t something I often thought or worried about, but when someone brought it up it got me immediately stressed out. And the fact that I had to figure it out at the party around everyone else stressed me out even more.

 

“Understandable. I told her not to, but I didn’t think she would take it seriously. It’s just what I have to say to be professional. And don’t swear around me.” He says. I sigh, of course Seulgi took it extremely seriously up until this point. When I met her last year as a freshman, she was a junior, but she was so passionate about the show that she got the lead over any of the nine seniors we had and they didn’t even care because she deserved it. “Students like her that push themselves so much deserve more credit than they get.”

 

“Well, we will just have to wait till later then.” Yuri said. “Speaking of people that push themselves too hard, do you know Mark Lee? The co-captain of the basketball team?” Yuri asked suddenly. My eyes widened as she innocently waited for an answer. I glared at her, ready to deck her ass, but held myself back because we were with Mr. Moon and she also isn’t exactly too aware of what happened between us. She was never really too close to me until this school year since we have so many classes together. I don’t have any clue why she’s asking about him. I know she knows we were friends at the very least, but why ask Mr. Moon about him. 

 

“Yes, I do. Pretty well too, since my husband coaches him and we hold team dinners at our house. He’s a really sweet kid. He really looks out for his members. He even got me a thank you gift at the end of last year!” Mr. Moon recalled. “It wasn’t any material thing, he just wrote a really sincere thank you.” 

 

“Oh, that’s nice of him! I heard he’s gonna be at Renjun’s tonight, along with the whole basketball team, so I wanted to hear a little about him. He’s really cute.” Yuri said excitedly. “Oh, wait! Aren’t you guys neighbors or something?”

 

“He’s really gonna be there?” I say with panic, Yuri makes let out a small  _ mmm hmm.  _ I try not to let her cuteness affect me as I worry about fucking  _ Mark.  _ “Shit,” I say under my breath. 

 

“That’s what Seulgi said, she invited them because she has a crush on the other co-captain. Is this not a good thing? I thought it was? I thought you were really close friends with Mark or something?” She whispers to me, at least having the decency to shield this conversation from our teacher. I groan and place my head in my hands. “I’m sorry if I bothered you. Could you at least tell me what’s wrong?”

 

“Just drop it,” I whine out. She pouts and tugs on my arm. 

 

“I said to drop it. Being bitter isn’t cute,” I said grumpily, crossing my arms over my chest and turning to look away from her. I notice that we’ve pulled into Renjun’s driveway, and I sigh in relief. 

 

“Alright, kids get out. I gotta get home before my husband starts worrying about me. You two can always come to talk to me if you need to. Consider my classroom a safe place for you both.” Mr. Moon tells us.

 

“I thought you had to pick something up-” I started.

 

“Nope. I lied. I love you both too much to make you walk that far. Now get out before I take you home with me and cook you dinner.” He said, then unlocked the doors.

 

“Love you too! Can’t wait for class Monday!” Yuri shouts as she jumped out of the car and into Renjun’s house.

 

“Thank you. This means really a lot. There’s a reason you are my favorite teacher.” I told him then followed after Yuri. I wave him off and then let a final sigh out before entering my best friend’s house. This is gonna be a long night if Yuri is right about Seulgi inviting the basketball team. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave me some comments and feedback so i know where you guys want to see this story go 🥰🥰😍😍


	5. when your moon rises, my sun rises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s been so long guys IM SORRRRYY school has been kicking my ass i hope you enjoy the chapter tho it’s not much but,,,,,,,,, it’s getting juicy !!!

These past few weeks were probably the worst of my life. Scratch that. They definitely were. Sometimes, I wish things were easier for me. I’m completely aware that life is a constant cycle of getting fucked over again and again after trying so hard, but it still sucks. First, there’s Donghyuck and I’s falling out, which causes me immense heartbreak every time I so much as think about it. Then, there’s Jaemin, Renjun, and Chenle glaring at me every chance they get at school, which is terrifying and has me worried for when they will actually strike. And then there’s the usual stuff, school and basketball and my parents, but now Johnny. There is not a single time where my mind isn't conjuring up some bullshit that will stress me out until I pop a blood vessel. 

Especially now since my parents are breathing down my neck more than usual since it’s one of my junior of high school. My grades and my performance on the basketball court are all I hear about at home. And since they’re on my ass now more than ever, I can’t even dwell on my own emotions anymore. I can't even play fucking Xbox anymore. If only I still had Donghyuck in my life, I’d at least have the one person that always made an effort to stick around despite my habit of pushing people away. If only I wasn’t such a jackass to him when I left for Canada I’d still have my one ray of sunshine. 

Ever since I met him when I moved to Korea, he’s always inserted himself into my life, even though I claimed not to like it. (I always have.) He normally waits for me during my basketball practices, being overly supportive and cheering even at times when I’m only taking a water break. He always ended making some excuse on how he is only there so I could help him with his homework afterwards, or some other trivial thing. When I know he really just wants to watch something together at his house while eating popcorn or some other snack that goes against my diet. Whether it was his stupid youtube videos or a terribly cliche K-drama, he somehow always convinced me to watch it with him. I could never say no to him over anything and I blame that on how annoyingly cute he is.

I trip over my feet as Taeyong throws the ball to me and it collides with my chest. 

“Pay attention. You’re zoning out while I’m trying to discuss strategies with you.” He says obviously upset but he is trying not to show it. Too bad I know him so well. 

“I’m sorry, hyung. There’s just a lot going on right now.” I tell him and his demeanor shifts to his softer side, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to his side. 

“You know you can always come to me. Is it your parents again?” He asks me gently, I nod my head even though my parents are the least of my worries right now. “Could I stay over this weekend?”

“I’m not saying I don’t want you over, but maybe you should just stay at Donghyuck’s house instead. I know he always helps you feel better.” Taeyong smiles widely and I push him away from me. I shake my head and go to sputter out a thousand different things when a whistle blows signaling us to line up in front of our coach. 

Taeyong throws me a smug look and I pretend to ignore him. You’d think that he would have noticed by now that Hyuck and I aren’t talking. Especially after what happened during lunch on the first day of school. He is in the top five students of his year, yet he can’t pick up on things like this. 

I sigh and pretend to listen intently to what my coach is spewing about, when really I couldn’t give less of a shit about basketball if I tried. I know it is terrible of me to laze off this much when I am one of the captains, but I couldn’t help it. All I wanted to do right now is go and lay in my room and never come out. But I can’t even do that, because Taeyong is dragging me and the rest of the team to some party at Sicheng’s house. I wasn’t quite sure what it is for, but he seemed like he wouldn’t change his mind. 

As I pack up my things in my locker, Jeno and Jisung pop up at the sides of my locker in a way I can only take as threatening. 

“W-What are you doing?” I sputter out and back up.

“Calm down, we’re not gonna kill you. Geez, this guy.” Jisung let’s out cooley, nudging Jeno’s arm. 

“We think that something happened between you and Donghyuck. And you need to go apologize because Jaemin and Renjun won’t talk to me and I can only guess it’s because I talk to you.” Jeno says. 

“Yeah, and Chenle won’t talk to me either.” Jisung adds on with a pout. 

“I’ll try,” I say and go to walk out. I don’t have time for this. 

“What kind of bullshit is that. ‘Oh, I’ll try.’ You need to apologize to him and you need to promise me you will.” Jeno presses, grabbing my wrist to turn me around. I pull away from his grasp and make an attempt at controlling my anger. He has no right to come and make me talk to Donghyuck, if he wanted anything to do with me he would have made it clear by now. 

“Listen, I’m sorry your boyfriends won’t talk to you. But I don’t see why it has to fall on me. Just stop talking to me, that’s seems like an easier solution then me going to apologize to Hyuckie.” I tell them. 

“Hyung! I would never want to stop talking to you! Don’t say that!” Jisung whines out, stepping out in front of me so I can't leave the locker room. 

“Yeah. And why can’t you go apologize, it was probably some stupid fight that you’re both blowing out of proportion.” Jeno states and I mentally facepalm at how right he is. My walls crumble down and I decide to be truthful with them. 

“That’s always the case with us, but this time it’s different since I haven’t talked to him in so long. I just don’t think I can face him.” I admit.

“Mark! Let’s go!” Jaehyun yells as he leaves the locker room. As I wave off at the boys, Jisung says one last thing to me that makes me feel hopeful. 

“You can do it, hyung!”

—

When we make it to Sicheng’s house, I’m surprised by the lack of cars parked outside. There were only three, not including Jaehyun’s as he pulled next to the curb to park. 

“Who’s even at this thing, hyung?” I ask Jaehyun as we walk up to the house together. 

“Mm… I’m not sure. Just our team I think,” He says absentmindedly as he pushes his hand through his hair. I watch as the strands fall in a mezmorized state. “Do I look okay?”

“Depends, why are you asking?” I say while smirking, nudging him with my elbow.

“You’re such a-” He stops himself. “I’ll just ask Sicheng. Get away from me and go talk to Lucas or something. Bye!” He yells off as he lets himself into Sicheng’s house to go find him. I stand at the door dumbly and pout at his disappearing form. Maybe I don’t want to always be hanging out with just Lucas. Just because we’re the two youngest on the team doesn’t mean we should be excluded from whatever it is the others do together. 

Despite that I decide to just go find Lucas, which evidently won’t be too hard since it seems like there’s nobody else here, at least from what I can tell. All I hear is the sound of Yuta shouting from the living room and Chenle’s unmistakable screech of laughter coming from upstairs. I have a quick pain shoot through my chest at the thought of him having fun upstairs with most likely his brother and wish I was there with them. But, instead I quickly head to where I know Lucas will be at, the kitchen since know he’s always ravenous after doing anything remotely active. 

I head over to the swinging door that leads to the kitchen and go to open it up, only for it to swing in my face instead. Shooting pains across my forehead, and ultimately making my glasses fall to the ground. 

“Shit! I’m sorry! I didn’t know-” I stop in my tracks at the voice I hear. The voice I’ve gone without for too long. My breath halts in my throat as I look to see Donghyuck, standing there in a fucking tight ass turtleneck. The pain shooting from my forehead where the door hit me is instantly the least of my worries as my previous scowl becomes a small hopeful grin.

“Um… It’s okay! It not like you knew!” I apologized, suddenly nervous as he starts to glare at me. I can instantly tell he isn’t happy to see me, which, obviously he ain’t fucking happy to see me.

“No! It’s not okay! If I had known it was you I would have opened this damn door harder!” He screamed, I look to see his fists clenched tight and his face angry. “If I had known it was you I would have taped a… A rock to the door! Fuck you, Lee Minhyung! Or should I say Mark?”

“Donghyuck, calm down.” I started, “Please. Can you just come with me so we can talk?”

“You want to talk to me now, after months of silence? I forgot you even had a fucking voice!”

“Hyuck, please. I can explain everything if you’d just let me.”

“Well, I don’t want to hear it. Obviously. I don’t know if it could sink through your thick headass, but I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. You’re a dick! Obviously going to Canada and spending time with your cousin got to your head if you think you can order me around like that!”

“Oh my God! Just shut up! I can never have a serious conversation with you! You’re so fucking immature. I can see you haven’t changed at all since the day I left for Canada.”

“Yeah, and you’re still ugly. Your point is?” Donghyuck lets out in a flat tone. 

“Look. I was stressed because the last minute decision for us go there, and I hated having to ditch you and the boys like that. And I know I shouldn’t called you, but my dad took my phone away so I wouldn’t be talking to you all summer like he knew I would. It only escalated further and further because I couldn’t contact you. I’m sorry I didn’t come up to you at all during school. I was just so nervous, and you know how I get with this kind of stuff. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t think about you, and I’m sorry about everything.”

Hyuck stares at Mark blankly and the latter winces slightly, as of expecting another outburst. Instead, he purses his lips in thought for a moment before nodding. 

“I understand, and it’s not like I’m completely innocent here either. I know how much you deal with between your family and school and basketball, yet I was selfish and begged you to stay with me. I’m sorry too, Mark.” He emphasizes the name an eye roll. Mark smiles at his words and steps forward towards Hyuck. Just as Mark opens his mouth to say something he knew he’d regret, Lucas barges out of the living room and starts screaming about playing some game. 

“I don’t completely forgive you, though.” Haechan lets out in his classic honeyed voice he uses when he’s holding a grudge. Mark sighs, yet follows Donghyuck towards the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave feedback plz guys it makes me wanna write more

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone i hope you like my first chapter please let me know what you thought and how you’d like to see the rest of the boys in the story and if you have any request !!! THANK YOU


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